We are creatures of habits, and many of them are developed during our formative years, i.e., in the family of our parents, for most of us. We follow these habits subconsciously, often whiteout thinking, as they become a part of our personality. Only when an external trigger makes us "wake up", we start paying attention, thinking of what we are doing and why, if it is helpful or hindering, etc. It sounds like you've got one of those wake up calls, and it is so wonderful that your life partner turned out to be that external trigger. They say it is a great sign when married people help each other become better persons. Congrats on your wonderful marriage, Melissa :-) !